Author Archive: konakenny

Lent 2017 – Day 8 and I Have an Interview

Lent Day 8

I am enjoying my separation from social media.  I still wonder what is going on and I still have a disconnected feeling.  It’s been just over 1 week.  I have found that I am sleeping easier, that I am reading paper-based items and my attention isn’t jumping all over the place.

Oh – I have an interview next Friday in Evansville, IN.  This could be HUGE.  It’s for a Safety Coordinator position.  I’ll pony up more details when necessary, but I am very excited.  This could mean some significant changes coming down the line.  A solid job would facilitate a move to Owensboro and ease some tensions there with wedding planning.  I could also make moves to set up the honeymoon.

My current work knows about it, and they wish me all the best.  I think they were anticipating my leave way before this (so was I).  But if everything works out – I could be in KY by April Fool’s Day.

 

Lent 2017 – Day 6 Meh.

It’s Day 6.  It’s also a Monday.

Overcast sky, and temperatures dropping.  As you can probably tell, I’m all kinds of super-happy about that. =/

It’s been a “meh.” of a day.  We’re in between starting a few new projects at work, the stage where the owners have to meet with us and contracts need to be signed, so there’s always that little bit of “something can go wrong” before we actually start.  We’re also bidding two nice size projects at the end of next week and another that following Tuesday.  All the bid invites and follow ups have been sent – just waiting for next Monday to start making phone calls and collecting quotes.

The job boards have been pretty light this morning – I updated my information on Glassdoor’s Know Your Worth, and results are better than expected.  I really should believe in myself more.  I’m still currently getting paid less than the average, but hopefully that will change soon.  ZipRecruiter and LinkedIn have been pretty sparse as of late – a lot of duplicate positions.

Been staying off my social media sites like a boss.

I was online and put together by tuxedo.  I know its WAY early, but I’m ready.  I have to make an appointment to get measured – but that’s a few months down the line.  Our colors are black and blue – which is funny considering how accident prone I am.  The blue has a little metallic sheen to it, and I wanted a full vest and tie.  Not really interested in a bow tie (I know they’re cool and all – but not for me).  No need for shoes – we’re wearing black Chucks.

Tonight is packing boxes – going to try and get everything in a spare bedroom either packed away, donated, or tossed.  I have a bunk bed in there that needs to be disassembled for transport…

It’s a rambling lunchtime post.

Lent 2017 – Day 5 (I think) Digging out the PS3

It’s Day 5.  I haven’t used Facebook, Youtube, and/or Twitter.  I have little to no idea what is going on in the real world, and the POTUS is tweeting like a madman but I am staying away.  I’ve watched an entire season of The Magicians (season 1), and am about to jump back into playing Lego Dimensions (I might have a problem…).  Right now I am waiting for a PS3 update.

I feel a little more free, staying away from those outlets and I can only wonder what I have missed.  I wonder if anyone misses me online.  I talked with my fiance a few times over the weekend, but other than that – stayed in hermit mode.  I was packing for my move and going over the job boards, doing laundry, etc – but I missed my online presence.  I know this is going to fade as the days continue on, and there will be an overwhelming wave of information once I get back.  I’m rambling – probably should have thought this out a little more rather than just starting to type.

I ordered a pizza for the first time this year.  I’ve been trying to eat better, but the call of garlic knots and pepperoni called for me in the middle of the night.  The delivery driver even called me out “…haven’t been here in a while – you’ve been feeling okay?”  to which I sheepishly replied “…I’ve been trying to eat better…”  “Well, it’s nice to have you back.”  and it felt good to be back (?)  Why can’t they have like salad delivery services?  (OMG – did I just admit to that?!)

::sigh::

I’m getting a little anxious.  The wedding is eight months away.  I still have to find a job and move.  I have a lot of people helping me look and while I admit I am excited about starting this new part of my life – I’m scared shittless.  I know this is normal.  It doesn’t make it any easier.

Well, these things get automatically posted to both by Facebook and Twitter feeds.  It’s a nice record down the line. I feel a little like a ghost in that respect.

On to tomorrow.  Why won’t this update data download already….  rrgh.

Lent 2017 – Day 3 The withdrawals are here.

It’s day 3 of my social media cold-turkey abandonment.

I miss it.

I want to know on Twitter what is going on, especially with the current news, and what kind of odd things the new administration is saying and how they’re spinning it.  I miss youtube and my documentaries, my current pop culture.  And I miss my connection to Facebook, and wonder if anyone misses me there…

Lent 2017 – So Far… (Day 2)

So far all is well.  I’ve been on the road a lot with work and haven’t needed a break to escape.

Youtube – I would usually set up Youtube on my kindle to listen to a documentary or news as I fall asleep. That’s been replaced with using my Alexa and “News Briefing” or “Play music”.

Twitter – since the election, I’ve been following President Trump.  Every morning I see the overnight tweets and reply in what I believe to be the appropriate manner – massive amounts of snark.  This has lead to an increase in blood pressure and an inability to sleep.  There have been many times where I fell down the rabbit hole and almost posted items that would incur a visit from the Secret Service, but I pulled back and made edits.  Staying away from Twitter has been a good thing.  The overwhelming information about what is going on in the world – can’t handle it.

Facebook – where am I going to post my Geek musings?  Well, I’m storing them in a folder and will be posting them on April 17.  In the meantime, it is nice to stay away from a lot of the political posts and memes.  On the other hand I do feel a little disconnected from the rest of my family and friends.

My fiance is on a “Alternative Spring Break” with some of her students in NOLA.  They’re working in food pantries, building homes, and planting trees – so she’s physically away.  I envy her.

 

Lent 2017 – Giving up Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube!

Every year about this time, Lent rears its ugly head and friends ask “So, what are you giving up for Lent?”  In years past, I’ve done deserts, chocolate, fast food, meat (I was vegan for 40 days), etc.  This year I decided to cut some ties to my online accounts (albeit for a little while).  I am giving up Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube for Lent.

I found that these three services/products (?) are my largest distraction from every day life.  It is easy to fall into the pit of all three services and while away entire weekends with nothing to show.  So in an effort to become a better person, logging out.

I am following my fiance’s lead on this (she’s staying away from Facebook) and I thought I might share in the e-withdrawals.

 

Ghostbusters (2016) continues to disappoint.

The new Ghostbusters (2016) can’t leave well enough alone.

There looks to be no originality – just taking the pieces/parts of the first movie and making a new one.

So disappointed.

Someone is getting a huge paycheck for this.

 

Ghostbusters Reboot

I have been a fan of Ghostbusters since the movie came out.  I’ve lost count on the number of times I have seen it in the theater.  I bought the VHS, DVD, and BLU-RAYS when they each came out.  I am currently playing the Ghostbusters video game on my Playstation.  I made my own GB costume the fall of 1984, and a new one for comic conventions in 2015/6.

When I first heard years ago that there was a Ghostbusters 3 in the works, I was excited – to say the least.  One of my childhood favorites would be coming back!  And then I heard it was out of the hands of Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis.  I was a bit skeptical, but it IS the Ghostbusters.  Everyone knows what the Ghostbusters is about and the fanbase is HUGE so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about – right?  Then I heard the director was Paul Feig and I thought – It’s the guy who did Freaks and Geeks!  He has to know the material.  This is even getting better.  Then I heard that it was going to be an all female cast. Initial reaction was – Why?  Is there a reason for making an all female cast?  It doesn’t need an all female cast – but there are a LOT of very talented female comedy actors.  I will wait and see…

re·boot (rē-bo͞ot′) tr.v. re·boot·ed, re·boot·ing, re·boots

1. To turn (a computer’s operating system) off and then on again; restart.
2. To bring back (an earlier film or television show), usually with a new cast and updated script.
n.
1. The act or an instance of rebooting a computer’s operating system.
2. A film or television show that is a remake of an earlier production, typically with a different or refreshed viewpoint.

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2011 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

I heard the dreaded “reboot”.  Why not continue on the series?  Have a legitimate sequel and a “passing of the torch” to a new crew?  No – the filmmakers decided to go for a reboot where none of the Ghostbusters (1984) material existed.  A brand new universe.  This hurt a little as it made it feel as though the movies I loved weren’t valid, and that they were just going to pick the bits and pieces they wanted for the new movie.  The original, its sequel, comics, cartoon, Legos, characters, etc all exist and are safe but I took it personally that it wasn’t “good enough” for them

Then the trailers started.

TRAILER #1
– 30 Years Ago, Four Scientists Saved New York.  Winston wasn’t a scientist.  And if this a reboot, why are you referencing the material that you wanted to distance yourself from?
– The firehouse.  Again that’s a visual from the first movies that you didn’t want to use, don’t try and invoke familiarity by doing that.
– A New Team Will Answer The Call – makes me feel like this is a sequel – even though its NOT.
– Okay…are they retelling the orginal story, only switching genders?  And why isn’t Leslie Jones a scientist?  Well, we got our “blonde Egon” from the cartoon.
– The “new” ECTO-1 is a hearse?  What the holy hell?  No.  Don’t use “ECTO”!  Original content!
– Slimer!  I know times have been tough for the last few years, but I’m sure you could have found work elsewhere.
– Ghosts possessing human bodies?
– Familiar jumpsuits and “proton packs”
– I really hope jokes are better and this is just a first swipe at a trailer.
– First impression.  I am sad.  They wanted a reboot, but the new movie seems to have enough visual similarities to the original, the ghosts look like they are out of a video game, the proton packs look like toys, and the jokes fell flat.  Just watching the first trailer, it felt like the script was based off someone’s fan fiction.

TRAILER #2 (International Trailer)
– Four Friends – great they got a demotion.
– Introductions look cheesy.
– Why is Thor here?
– Stop licking the proton gun.
– It wasn’t a “race thing” or a “lady thing”  is the audience after they saw the movie.  They all jumped into Deloreans, when back in time and tried to stop the movie.

TRAILER #3 (US #2)
– No reference to “Four Friends/Scientists”
– Still shot of the firehouse – STOP IT
– Original theme playing in the background.
– Is Kevin the ‘Big Bad?” okay
– They got Roker?!
– “Mass Hysteria” – stop it
– Selfies with the ghost – okay, I kinda like that one.

 

TRAILER #4 (International Trailer #2)
– Little bit more of the same.  Jokes are meh.
– Is that the new ghost trap?  It’s the size of a barrel?!

TRAILER #5 (International Trailer #3)
– “We’re the Ghostbusters” No…no you’re not.

NEW Ghostbusters Theme – by Fall Out Boy & Missy Elliot
– Stop the planet, I want to get off.  There’s no air?  I’m okay with that.
Overall, I’m upset to what feels like the filmmakers went into my childhood toy chest, took out some of the toys and tried to make a movie.  But when I ask if they’re playing with the toys, they look at me with a disgusted look like I had wronged them.

If I was going to reboot the Ghostbusters series (which there’s so way I would).  I would:
– New Logo.  If you want to distance yourself, make a new logo.  It can be reminiscent, but don’t use the same logo.  It makes it look like its a sequel and you don’t want that – that’s why you’re “rebooting” the series.
– Don’t make references to the previous movie(s).  Original content.  No “ECTO-1” that is now a white and red hearse.  No more backpack proton packs.  Stop showing me the firehouse – it just makes me want to compare this movie to the 1984 original – and that’s not making things better.
– Don’t call yourselves the Ghostbusters.  If you’re really that clever of writers, you can make a variation or something “better”.
– Mix up the cast.  Having an “all female Ghostbusters crew” is not a novel idea, it’s lazy.

And in the “real world”, just because someone doesn’t like the movie – don’t label them as a ‘misogynist’.  The reason I’m not looking forward to this is NOT because of the all female-lead cast, but because of bad storytelling.

I am just glad that after this movie comes out and if it does poorly, it will go away.  Maybe a “true” sequel will come along in a few years and we can forget this universe.

 

Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Panic

Panic Attacks

I am no stranger to living with anxiety and panic attacks.

It has been something I’ve had to deal with my entire life.  I don’t know if it started out as a confidence issue, or if I was afraid of consequences, but I would always “hem and haw” and get nervous about things.

I remember when I was little and the movie “The Day After” came out.  For those of you that haven’t seen it, it was about nuclear war.  It was a tv movie shown on Sunday night on ABC in 1983.  I lost countless nights worrying about a nuclear war after that – and still have nightmares.  One day while in grade school, the teachers wanted to take a break from the students (and who wouldn’t – we were little goblins) and showed a documentary on Nostradamus (“The Man Who Saw Tomorrow“) – you know the one with Orson Wells, all bearded out.  Of course, discussions of the a third world war came about.  Yeah, nervous stomach, hampered breathing – the usual.  I just recently got the nerves up again to watch it – still  gave me chills.

Oh the panic attacks – how awesome are those?  I love completely freaking out and having to get outside to walk around because the walls are closing in on you – or wanting to get outside to “drive” with no particular destination,  A few years back, during an unemployment period, there was a few feet of snow on the ground, roads were closed, and I started overthinking.  This compounded itself and soon I was shallow breathing, sweating, and walking around outside trying to get air.  I couldn’t stop shaking and crying for some odd reason.  In the functioning part of my brain, I thought “Oh, so this is how I’m going to go?  I would have thought it was something a little more ironic…”

But that soon passed.  It wasn’t too long afterwards that I went to see a doctor.  I was tired.  It took a few different attempts to get the right medications, but things are so much better now.  I’m not tripping over words as much, I’m not walking around outside in the middle of the night, and I’m not crying for no good reason (Sarah Mclachlan pet videos not withstanding – seriously, why don’t the play those videos on large screens on the front lines of combat?  If you’re not tearing up, you have no soul and should be taken out).

That’s all I have for today – I have to get back to work.

=)

 

 

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