Anxiety and Panic Attacks


Panic Attacks

I am no stranger to living with anxiety and panic attacks.

It has been something I’ve had to deal with my entire life.  I don’t know if it started out as a confidence issue, or if I was afraid of consequences, but I would always “hem and haw” and get nervous about things.

I remember when I was little and the movie “The Day After” came out.  For those of you that haven’t seen it, it was about nuclear war.  It was a tv movie shown on Sunday night on ABC in 1983.  I lost countless nights worrying about a nuclear war after that – and still have nightmares.  One day while in grade school, the teachers wanted to take a break from the students (and who wouldn’t – we were little goblins) and showed a documentary on Nostradamus (“The Man Who Saw Tomorrow“) – you know the one with Orson Wells, all bearded out.  Of course, discussions of the a third world war came about.  Yeah, nervous stomach, hampered breathing – the usual.  I just recently got the nerves up again to watch it – still  gave me chills.

Oh the panic attacks – how awesome are those?  I love completely freaking out and having to get outside to walk around because the walls are closing in on you – or wanting to get outside to “drive” with no particular destination,  A few years back, during an unemployment period, there was a few feet of snow on the ground, roads were closed, and I started overthinking.  This compounded itself and soon I was shallow breathing, sweating, and walking around outside trying to get air.  I couldn’t stop shaking and crying for some odd reason.  In the functioning part of my brain, I thought “Oh, so this is how I’m going to go?  I would have thought it was something a little more ironic…”

But that soon passed.  It wasn’t too long afterwards that I went to see a doctor.  I was tired.  It took a few different attempts to get the right medications, but things are so much better now.  I’m not tripping over words as much, I’m not walking around outside in the middle of the night, and I’m not crying for no good reason (Sarah Mclachlan pet videos not withstanding – seriously, why don’t the play those videos on large screens on the front lines of combat?  If you’re not tearing up, you have no soul and should be taken out).

That’s all I have for today – I have to get back to work.




Kickstarter – “TALES OF MR. RHEE: “Those Who Fight Monsters…” Hardcover”

I’ve been following some creative people on Kickstarter lately.

At the most recent Fantasticon held in Toledo, Dirk Manning mentioned that he was putting out a Kickstarter for his long awaited Tales of Mr. Rhee book.  Honestly, I had never heard of the book, nor the series – but he was a local creator (419 yo!) and I wanted to support him.  I looked online and did a little research, signed up for his monthly newsletter, and am supporting his Kickstarter:

There are still 3 weeks to go (as of this morning) and he has doubled his initial quest.


SideCut Park – Trail Tour 2016

This Saturday morning the sun was shining and there weren’t a lot of clouds in the sky.  I met up with a group of about 12 other people and our intent was to walk the red trail at SideCut Park.  It looks like they added a bike trail since we were here last and the red trail that used to go through the woods is a little more hidden.  Well, we walked the bike trail to the other side of 23 and around the field, looping around and making our way back.

Secor Park – Trail Tour 2015

It was a fantastic day for a walk in the park.

Blue skies and warm weather.  I had a small group with me today.  We walked the red trail.  It had been raining for the last few days and we were wondering if the trails would have been muddy.  They weren’t too bad.  Today’s menace – the mosquito.  She and her swarm of followers wanted blood – and they took a lot of it from us.  We tried to use bug spray as much as we could – various manufacturers and strengths.  None of it worked.

But – all said and done – excellent day!

Barenaked Ladies “Last Summer on Earth 2015” Tour


It was the last day of my vacation and I was lucky enough to see one of my favorite bands play outdoors.

Barenaked Ladies, Violent Femmes, and Colin Hay – Last Summer on Earth 2015 – Toledo Zoo Amphitheater

Colin Hay started out the evening.  He was playing some acoustic songs from Men at Work.  It was a nice easy way to start the evening.  The crowd started singing along to “Who Can It Be Now” and “Overkill”.

The weather was looking a little shady and there was speculation that the concert may end up being a wet one.  A cool breeze rolled in as the night wore on.  There were a few sprinkles, but nothing to stop the music.

A set change and Violent Femmes hit the stage.This was a throwback to my college days.  They brought out the heavier rock that the crowd sung along to.  The setlist started out with “Blister in the Sun”, “Love Love Love Love Love”, “Add It Up”, “Kiss Off”, “American Music”, and wrapped up with “Gone Daddy Gone” and “American Music”.

Then the Barenaked Ladies hit the stage.  Opening up big with “Limits” and “Boomerang” (new music) and going back with “It’s All Been Done”, a BNL rap about riding a bike in east Toledo and getting shot (!), “Pinch Me”, “Blame it On Me”, “Too Little Too Late”, and “Big Bang Theory Theme” there was a song every non-racist sang along to and a Cover Medley (including Blister in the Sun, I’m Not The Only One, Bohemian Rhapsody, Let it Go, Shake It Off, Whole Lotta Love) wrapping up the night with “If I Had a Million Dollars”.

It was a good concert.

Old West End Festival 2015

This was the weekend for the Old West End Festival.

Official events include House Tours, The King Wamba Parade, a Juried Art FairEntertainment, Children’s Activities, Food Vendors, OWE Stampede 5k run/walk, Beer Pavillion, Yard Sales, Antique Car Show, and Vendors Alley. The un-official events are front yard grill outs, brunches, porch musicians, street performers, face painting, parties, and curbside local artists to name a few. Come join us this year and enjoy the experience that’s been voted ‘Toledo’s Best Neighborhood’!

I ventured down a little after lunch to visit a friend.  I sat on the stoop and drank beer.  Usually that would seem odd, but in this neighborhood – not so much.  We took a walk, visited some vendors, saw some beautiful houses, met some interesting people, ate some great food, and bought some interesting knick-knacks.

After a few hours, we needed to rest our feet, drink a little, and then out again to the beer garden to see the fire dancers.

Black Cloister Brewing Company & Trivia

pctl-300x300My friends and I started playing organized trivia this week.

Team Snarknado

We’re playing through Sporcle at the Black Cloister Brewing Company, Thursday nights.  Games begin at 7:30 and 8:30 p.m.

We ended up in third place this week after two games.  This week and next will be “training” events since we are on the downward side for the tournament.



Nerdlesque – T-Town Tassels

Last night I attended Nerdlesque, a night presented by the T-Town Tassels Burlesque Group.

It was a very interesting night – not something I would have seen myself going to in years past, but I’m all about expanding my horizons this year.

It took place at the Collingwood Arts Center, a former college and nunnery turned performing arts center.  Old bones about it, the place has character.

The performers had acts surrounding such “nerd tastic” themes as: Sailor Moon, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Pokemon, Star Trek, Nintendo, and Portal.  I was called to the front of the auditorium because of the awesome Tomagatchi tie I chose to wear.

Outdoor Expo – Toledo Metroparks

Today was the Outdoor Adventure Expo put on by the Toledo Metroparks at Secor Park in Maumee.

The expo was “open” from 10am to 4pm and showed off some of the activities the park system sponsored/educated/etc.

  • Archery
  • Canoeing
  • Kayaking
  • Camping
  • Geocaching
  • Hiking

There was also a tent from local vendors, showing off and presenting their information.


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